Ladies and gentlemen, have you seen what’s been going on in Congress lately? I mean, it’s like a geriatric parade of cluelessness. American politicians are all up in arms about TikTok, and it’s honestly laughable how little they understand about the technology they’re trying to regulate.
I swear, watching these hearings is like watching your grandparents try to use a smartphone.
But even more painful, and you can’t look away.
These politicians are stumbling through the hearings, asking questions that have about as much substance as a Kardashian marriage. I’m talking about as much substance as a vegetarian’s plate at Chuck’s Roadhouse.
The only thing these questions are accomplishing is making me question how any of these people were able to get elected. One guy asked if TikTok can access his phone contacts. Another asked if TikTok can access his WiFi at home.
These poltiicans are so out of touch with technology, I half expected one of them to ask if they can use TikTok to send a fax.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there are legitimate concerns about TikTok and its Chinese ownership. But when you watch these hearings, it’s clear that most of these politicians don’t have a clue about the issues. They’re just parroting what they’ve heard on the news or read in some memo or something on Twitter. It’s all just political theater – and bad theater at that. Like watching Nicholas Cage in a Shakesperean play.
But let’s cut to the chase here. What’s really going on?
Well, my friends, it’s all about the Benjamins. Capitalism, baby!
You see, TikTok is a multi-billion dollar cash cow, and handing it over to Chinese ownership goes against the very essence of American big business. It’s like watching Artie Lange in a room with a bunch of cocaine on a table, one way or another, we all know where that cocaine is headin’.
If China were willing to let American corporations operate freely in their country, maybe this wouldn’t be such a big deal. But since the flow of cash and equity is moving from the USA to China and not the other way around, suddenly, both sides of Congress can agree on one thing: TikTok must be stopped.
TikTok ownership is reportedly somewhere around a 60% global investor stake, a 20% founder stake, a 20% employee stake, and 1 percent CCP stake. I know this adds up to 101%, but were working with what’s available on the internet.
So, we’ve got these politicians grandstanding, pretending to care about the security of the American people when, in reality, they’re just trying to protect their own interests – and those interests are of course big business.
It’s like a poorly written episode of “House of Cards,” but with less intrigue and more buffoonery.
I mean, seriously, do any of these politicians actually know what they’re talking about? Have they even used TikTok? I’d bet dollars to donuts that most of them couldn’t even find the app on their phone without the help of an intern.
In the end, what we have is a bunch of politicians who are using TikTok as a political football, when they don’t even understand the technology they’re trying to regulate. It’s all about getting some camera time on national television and hoping to go viral. But ironically, if they make a fool of themselves, it will be all over TikTok the next day. With young Americans dunking on the dumb questions.
So the US, China and ByteDance are playing a high-stakes game of “keep away” with a company that’s worth billions, and they’re not even sure why they’re doing it – other than the fact that it involves money flowing out of the USA and into China.
Could it be about selling our data? Well, Facebook already does that. Could it be about trying to use the app as a propaganda vehicle to blast out content that will displace the fabric of American society? Sure. But Facebook, Twitter, and Goggle already got that covered. And although we do blame them from time to time, they haven’t gone anywhere.
Make no mistake.
The next time you see one of these politicians ranting about TikTok, just remember that it’s not about national security or protecting the American people. It’s about capitalism, pure and simple. And, as we all know, when it comes to capitalism, there’s only one rule: Winner takes all.
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