Steven Crowder’s C*ck is a Joke

Self-made talking head Steven Crowder is the star in the middle of a solar system that occupies its own sector of the conservative media universe. His internet video talk show Louder with Crowder is wall to wall indignant loudmouth can-you-believe-what-these-libs-are-up-to-now-? stuff for about an hour, nearly every day. Gun owners’ rights, immigrants ruining America, right to life, college kids are too woke… all the classics.

The Youtube channel has more than five million subscribers, and there are another 1.5 million on Rumble, presumably as a hedge against his Youtube channel being shut down by the PC police. He posts a few videos a week that get lots of comments on both platforms. With Tucker Carlson out of the mix, Crowder might be the biggest talking head in conservative media.

There’s just no knocking the original “change my mind” guy’s troll game. He took Rush Limbaugh’s schtick out live to college campuses and picket lines, took a few metaphorical and actual lumps while he was at it, and earned the right to give his audience the feeling that they were striking a blow against liberalism, just by listening.

He might be a flasher, but he isn’t a sellout!

This past January, Crowder was offered a four year, $50 million contract by conservative digital media startup The Daily Wire, home of the equally over-followed Ben Shapiro, whose show is basically Crowder’s show. Crowder turned the money down and immediately climbed up on the cross to express his displeasure with the offer, calling it a “slave contract,” and going on for about an hour about the kill clauses in The Daily Wire‘s offer, and how they put the company in bed with Big Tech.

Crowder’s $50 million take from the proposed deal ($50 million!!!) would be reduced if his Youtube channel got a content strike, and further reduced if it were demonetized. This tracks like a perfectly reasonable clause, considering the deal was to leave Crowder with full editorial control over his channel, and it would be unwise for The Daily Wire to take on an obligation to pay for a channel that they couldn’t publish on or earn from. Crowder’s Youtube channel had been suspended before, and was suspended the following May for bringing the long-suspended Alex Jones on as a guest host.

Crowder Uncut

And now, six months later, Crowder’s staff, who would surely have been in line for a raise if he took the $50 million, are snitching to Mediaite about how often he flashes his cock.

According to his long-suffering staff, Steven Crowder doesn’t wave his dick around in the way one might expect out of a sex offender. It has a different feel than the typical Brett Favre / Anthony Weiner situation, where the dick wager can’t come up with a better way to tell women he likes them. The anonymous staffers that talked to Mediaite all say that The Crowder Trouser Snake only ever gets whipped out around male staff members, when he’s feeling good, and is always treated by its owner like a joke. The dick itself is the joke. The whole joke: setup and punchline. It’s like: “I have a dick, bro! LOL! Get it?!”

Someone over at Mediaite watched enough of Crowder’s material to find him pulling the stunt on air, during a bit where he’s talking to some fake HR nerd, who is meant to represent the PC culture that is ruining America or something, about workplace complaints… and Steven whips out his nuts, and that’s the joke.

Crowder gets dragged a lot…

That same brand of wit is often used in the parts of the show where Crowder, trying to make some kind of unexplained point about gender, dresses up like a woman and does stuff like go to the gym or go to a women’s rights march. One time he goes to planned parenthood, and fakes a positive pregnancy test, but none of these “jokes” ever pay off either. Crowder never tricks someone with liberal gender politics who should be cool with cross dressing into telling him he shouldn’t do it, or otherwise owns the libs. He just dresses in drag and walks around and films it. Often. Sometimes he doesn’t go out in public at all, he just wears a dress in the studio, and that’s the joke. The whole joke.

The drag bit might even work, in a way, if Crowder was the kind of man he’s pretending very loudly to be. A man who smokes cigars, and shoots guns, and smokes his own meat, because that’s what men do! A man whose T levels are so jacked up that he’s driven to spend his public life lamenting about the blurring of gender roles and the end of traditional families. That guy in drag might be good for some comedic contrast.

If that guy really existed, and wasn’t Crowder putting on a show, and that guy had a hot, young wife who was about as pregnant as you can get with his twins, one might expect that guy to be so happy it’s disgusting. It would be hard to get him to talk about anything else. He’d be the same insufferable douche, but he’d be dragging his pregnant wife around everywhere, painting the nursery, asking around about handguns for infants, and doing everything he could to make sure the Mrs. was going to deliver two healthy arian children as planned.

Crowder, on the other hand, skipped the twins’ births, pretty much berated the wife into divorcing him, and whined about it on his show, blaming everyone but himself, including no-fault divorce laws.

Yashir Ali reported it out this past April, complete with some disturbing video of Crowder picking an especially snotty and frankly abusive fight with his then-wife Hillary over whether or not she was allowed to take the car (How does this wealthy young couple only have one car? Why do they have any fewer than three cars!? It’s Texas!!).

Armchair psychology isn’t much use to anyone, and is tacky besides. We aren’t qualified to say if Crowder is a closet case, waging a war against his own gender dysphoria, or just a chronically self-destructive narcissistic jerk. To us, between the dick dances, the terminally soft and almost certainly intentional alienation of his wife, and the flat fashion shows, the relevant question is why Crowder’s audience hasn’t abandoned him.

Maybe they find him relatable.

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Information for this briefing was found via Fox, Louder With Crowder, and the sources mentioned. The author has no securities or affiliations related to the organizations discussed. Not a recommendation to buy or sell. Always do additional research and consult a professional before purchasing a security. The author holds no licenses.