President Donald Trump spent Monday in the Oval Office arguing that California Governor Gavin Newsom’s dyslexia disqualifies him from ever becoming president — and then, mid-rant, accidentally made him one.
“President of the United States Gavin Newscum,” Trump said, using his preferred nickname for the governor while apparently losing track of the argument he was trying to make.
Newsom’s personal X account responded within hours: “NO THANK YOU, WE BELIEVE IN FREE ELECTIONS!”
In a post from the official account of the Governor’s press office — written in full Trump all-caps, the rhetorical equivalent of a hijacked nuclear launch code — Newsom declared: “NOW THAT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM OFFICIALLY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (THANK YOU DONALD!), I HAVE MANY BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE!”
The announcements included: every Trump executive order declared null and void; Stephen Miller and “EVERY TRUMP GOON” fired; a Trump corruption probe opened; cannabis and abortion legalized nationally; and Ticketmaster fees banned. The post ended: “THE COUNTRY IS NOW RUN BY SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY COMPLETE A SENTENCE. AMERICA IS NOW ‘HOT’ BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DYSLEXIC PRESIDENT INSTEAD OF A BRAIN-DEAD ONE. BIG UPGRADE!”
The exchange is the latest escalation in an ongoing war of words between Trump and the California governor, who is widely seen as a leading 2028 Democratic presidential contender.
Last month, the governor published Young Man in a Hurry, in which he wrote openly about his dyslexia diagnosis at age 5. During a book tour stop in Atlanta, Newsom told the crowd: “I’m a 960 SAT guy… You’ve never seen me read a speech, because I cannot read a speech. Maybe the wrong business to be in.”
Trump seized on the comments last week, calling Newsom “A Cognitive Mess” on Truth Social, claiming he had “mental problems” and “a mental lack of ability,” and suggesting dyslexia should disqualify someone from the presidency.
“Honestly, I’m all for people with learning disabilities,” Trump said Monday, “but not for my president.”
Newsom fired back on his personal account: “I spoke about my dyslexia. I know that’s hard for a brain-dead moron who bombs children and protects pedophiles to understand.”
Speaking to reporters in the Oval Office, Trump called Newsom “President of the United States Gavin Newscum” — accidentally bestowing the title he had just argued the governor was unfit to hold.
On his personal account, Newsom also addressed the dyslexia attacks directly: “To every kid with a learning disability: don’t let anyone — not even the President of the United States — bully you. Dyslexia isn’t a weakness. It’s your strength.”
The Governor’s press office account, which has made a habit of mocking Trump in his own register — all-caps, run-on sentences, escalating grievances — has become one of the more effective opposition voices in American politics precisely because it refuses to be dignified about any of this.
It has previously posted fake Trump-style presidential portrait plaques, mocked his bruised hands, declared him “no longer hot,” and responded to a 56-post Truth Social spree with: “We cannot believe this man has the nuclear codes. Deep breaths, everyone. Three more years.”
That was in January. It is now March, the US is at war with Iran, Cuba has gone dark, and the president just made the governor of California president by accident.
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