GameStop (NYSE: GME) has issued what it calls an “official declaration” classifying the Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360, and Nintendo Wii U as retro consoles, triggering a wave of existential dread among millennials who distinctly remember buying them new.
The announcement, posted Monday to GameStop’s X account and signed with the company’s media contact details for full mock-bureaucratic effect, cited “careful analysis of multiple indicators” in reaching its ruling — including the presence of component cables, the inability to run Fortnite, and “the realization that they launched when George W. Bush was still president.”
That last criterion contains a small factual wrinkle: the Wii U launched in November 2012 — during the final weeks of Barack Obama’s first term, not Bush’s. The Xbox 360 and PS3 launched in 2005 and 2006, respectively — when Bush was, in fact, still president. Close enough, given the circumstances.
Under GameStop’s Retro Classification Standard, the three consoles now join the likes of the Sega Saturn and Nintendo DS in the retro category.
To mark the occasion, the company launched a Retro Trade-In Bonus running through March 21, offering customers an additional 10% trade credit when bringing in a PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, or any older consoles, games, or accessories.
GameStop also announced it will now accept defective retro consoles on trade — non-operable units, consoles missing accessories, and what the company diplomatically described as systems that are “aesthetically unfortunate” — as long as they power on.
Information for this story was found via the sources and companies mentioned. The author has no securities or affiliations related to the organizations discussed. Not a recommendation to buy or sell. Always do additional research and consult a professional before purchasing a security. The author holds no licenses.
