GameStop (NYSE: GME) has issued what it calls an “official declaration” classifying the Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360, and Nintendo Wii U as retro consoles, triggering a wave of existential dread among millennials who distinctly remember buying them new.
The announcement, posted Monday to GameStop’s X account and signed with the company’s media contact details for full mock-bureaucratic effect, cited “careful analysis of multiple indicators” in reaching its ruling — including the presence of component cables, the inability to run Fortnite, and “the realization that they launched when George W. Bush was still president.”
That last criterion contains a small factual wrinkle: the Wii U launched in November 2012 — during the final weeks of Barack Obama’s first term, not Bush’s. The Xbox 360 and PS3 launched in 2005 and 2006, respectively — when Bush was, in fact, still president. Close enough, given the circumstances.
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Under GameStop’s Retro Classification Standard, the three consoles now join the likes of the Sega Saturn and Nintendo DS in the retro category.
To mark the occasion, the company launched a Retro Trade-In Bonus running through March 21, offering customers an additional 10% trade credit when bringing in a PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, or any older consoles, games, or accessories.
GameStop also announced it will now accept defective retro consoles on trade — non-operable units, consoles missing accessories, and what the company diplomatically described as systems that are “aesthetically unfortunate” — as long as they power on.
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